Finish The Course

A few end of the year reflections

2005-12-28T10:52:00.000-06:00

Well, I pretty much stink at this blogging piece. I thought is was cool, but it's just another evidence to the reality that my life is overstuffed and overcommitted. It's been 3 dag on months since I last made an entry. A lot has happened during these months--I've almost mastered driving the "manual" car, I've turned 30, and I've finished my first semester at Wheaton College.

Wheaton...I can't tell you how many of my self-defined "progressive" activist co-workders, acquaintances, and friends ask in a puzzled way, "Wheaton? What are you doing out there?" I see some of their plans for me dashed against the rocks of Suspision. Yes, Wheaton is White and conservative, but thus far, I am grateful to be there. I've been encouraged by professors who are brilliant thinkers, who don't fear logic, yet seem to really love Christ. It's nice to be working on an advanced degree in a place where the CHristian worldview is held (I think what is questionable sometimes is whether it's more of a cultural view than Christian--as each culture will interpret how the Christian Kingdom should be lived out).

I must say that there is a prevailing thought about Wheaton that sticks with me. Those students who have come from sheltered privilege of the Christian, affluent, American world are those who consistently seem oblivious to people who are different from them--non-white, non affluent, non-American. They walk on campus with what appears to be an air of confidence. They are beautiful, nicely dressed, and on most days, look right through me--though they sit in classes with me. Contrarily, those students who have served on the mission field with their families (and who have worked hard and sacrificed much), those international students who have left the comforts of home and family, those who feel socially cutoff, those who are humbled by their circumstances, are the students at Wheaton who work to make eye contact for a warm greeting, who go out of their way to introduce themselves, who seem sensitive to those around them. Why? I believe that it is the suffering/sorrow/humility factor. Those who don't feel secure and protected by the cushions of wealth, social popularity, etc. are accutely aware of those who suffer around them--they recognize more easily those who may be isolated, as they are familiar with the pangs of isolation.

So application: aloofness on the believer is not becoming. Embracing the things that humble us make us more loving toward others--makes us more senstive and alert to those who may be hurting around us.

In a coffee shop with girlfriends

2005-09-16T11:59:00.000-05:00

Updates

2005-08-12T01:03:00.000-05:00

I'm exhausted, but resisting sleep at the Castellanos house (I'm house sitting). Don't really feel like cuddling with Oreo tonight (their very loving fat cat). I thought this would be a good time to give updates, assuming that friends check in on my blog occasionally. Nekos is a really favored employee at Loro's Auto. He had an interview this week to get back into school. I also am returning to school. I sent in my money to confirm that I would indeed be a Wheaton College graduate student this month. I'm also transitioning from the organizing arm of Lawndale Christian Development Corp to the Education arm--my great passion. I'm excited that I get to work with a friend, Paul Radoy. He and his wife have been a blessing to me.

Marcos, Loren, and I met to plan for this year's youth ministry. Marcos is such a gifted man of God when it comes to teaching, preaching, and leading, but he's not so good and naming stuff, i.e. Flaming Hot Fridays (Flaming Hot coming from the name of the hot Cheetos the kids in the neighborhood eat and the suggested name for Friday night youth group). We're excited. Triple B ministry (barber shop, Bible study, and basketball) will happen for the young men. There will be a sports ministry for girls on another night, a soccer ministry for young men, and an all youth celebration on Friday nights for everyone.

Luis and Sarai Aldana are back from their month long trip in Mexico. I look forward to connecting with them. We haven't seen them since Ecuador.

That's all. Sleep's on my back now.

Finish The Course

2005-08-12T01:02:00.000-05:00

Finish The Course

Nekos and his homie Cameron (in Quito)

2005-07-26T17:50:00.000-05:00

Nekos got a job!!!!

2005-07-26T17:48:00.000-05:00

Remember one of the goals that Nekos had was to get employment. His first day at Lorel's Auto Shop was today!!!! Praise God! And thanks to Pastor Vic for setting up the appointment!

Evaluating Evangelicals

2005-07-26T08:49:00.000-05:00

I heard something on radio [Christian] this morning that frustrated me more than saddened or angered. It is a mindset in the US American church that is prevalent, and one which has divided the poor and rich, the black and white (and now, moreso, the brown), all within the Christian faith, for centuries. The school of thought, "Jesus fixes everything, therefore I don't have to stand, speak, and fight for what is right" has crippled the Body of Christ. In pure theology, I believe the first part of this statement. In the most simplest of context and thought, this is true, Jesus is the Ultimate Judge in whose hand is all judgement, justice, restitution, and redemption. However, what this type of thinking has propogated is a laziness on our part to DO anything (see the epistle of James and I John for more context). It is easy for us (those of means--whether through racial privilege, through education, and/or through wealth)to flippantly say, "Jesus fixes everything" when we meet a nonbeliever/non-Christian who's struggling in life. We think, "You could get a job, have a decent place to live, get off drugs, only if you give Christ a chance."

Again, there is a basic truth to this statement. I have personally experienced and seen how Christ can really turn a person 180 degrees--a sharp-tongued, arrogant person turned kind and patient even in the face of insult, a lazy man with a defeatest attitute turned into a vibrant person excited about work and responsibility, an alcoholic sobered up overnight. Yes, Jesus perfoms "overnight" miracles in the lives of the most broken of people. It is supernatural redemption...

However, a VERY constant theme throughout Old and New Testament scripture is that of Justice. In fact, we often see Justice and Righteousness coupled as twins in God's Word. You can't have one without the other. "I have shown thee O man, what is good and what the Lord requires of you, to to DO JUSTICE, LOVE MERCY, and to WALK HUMBLY with thy God (Micah 6:8) "Thus has the LORD of hosts said, Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother, and do not oppress the widow or the orphan, the stranger or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another" (Zechariah 7:9-10) Entire books in the Scripture have as a major theme, "doing justice". Notice all of the commands here, requiring personal action and responsibility.

I used to also flippantly say, "Just work harder. If you just give your life to Christ, everything else falls into order." But then I started to ask, "What if race, racism, classism has trumped God's Word in the American church?" I was very active in a parachurch ministry during college years. God used this ministry greatly in my life, and to this day, I deeply love and respect a few of the women of this ministry who discipled and loved me. I saw, however, that we lived very different, almost polarized, realities. Even though we were all Chrsitians, my life and the life of my Black friends were very, very different from the lives of my White brothers and sisters. We often celebrated engagements, marriages, new homes of those involved with this ministry. I don't ever recall, however, any of these happy occassions happening with my black friends. And before I lose a dear reader who argues, "Well, all white people don't marry and have enough money for homes", they disproportionately do. Privilege propogates privilege, and it's super hard to break cycles of abuse and poverty. According to 2002 U.S. Census data: With 8.8 million Black families and 53.6 million White families in the U.S., nearly half of the Black families, 48%, were intact, married mother-father couples while 43 percent were Black unmarried female-headed households and 9 percent were unmarried male-headed households in comparison, 83 percent of White families were married male-female households; 13 percent of White females were unmarried female-headed households; and unmarried males headed only 5 percent of the White families. To hit closer to home, in my own community of North Lawndale, 70% of males age 18-25 go through the prison system!!! Our pickings for husbands are slim! (But with God nothing is impossible)

WHY IS THIS? Are blacks more sinful than whites? Are we all just shiftless and lazy and trifling? This is about generational sin. I say "Amen" to Cosby's cry for personal responsibility! We cannot, however, ignore that there is another cause to some of the deep problems facing the US Black. Slavery and institutional racism--characterized by a demonic hatred, ignorance, and oppression--has trickled down to the 21st century. The effects of slavery didn't end in 1865. Men were still being linched commonly through the fifties and sixties. Redlining (bankers taking red ink and circling areas where minorities lived in order to identify places where loans could not be made) commonly happened in the 1970s. My own dear mother suffered through nursing school being one of two black students who were treated very different from the non-blacks.

I think the more tragic part to this story is that so many of us evangelicals have just said, "Jesus will fix it." We want to lead people through the sinner's prayer, but so few of us have had the guts TO DO JUSTICE!!!!!!! Some are familiar with John Perkins' work (CCDA). This godly man could not understand how Christians could not respond to the social realities that polarized the quality of life between blacks and whites. He started to meet with other pastors to get support from the Body to fight against injustice. He talks in one of his books about a couple of white pastors actually committing suicide from the despair caused by seeing the wickedness of racism but not having the wherewithal to challenge it. How do we explain Blacks, Whites, Browns, Reds, all calling on the name of Christ, but living really different lives? How is it that inner city pastors are living below poverty line, serving as janitor, preacher, shepherd, etc., while other pastors in the same country turn down pastorates because $40,000 is not enough? Are they not all calling on the same name of Jesus? How is it that godly black women aren't finding husbands because so many black men are in prison or being killed? (this is a real problem that is now the common topic of journalism and study) Is Jesus really enough? Not when His body is disobedient...

Spurs in the sides of horses aren't "mean". They're necessary to get them moving. I think true love isn't the sappy,"I don't want to make you feel bad" stuff (even though I like what it does for my ego and feelings), but it's the stuff that brings reform that is pure and true. It is the stuff that exposes the junk in our hearts so that we can repent and turn back to the truths of God. Our witness is weakened when we allow race, class, and education to trump the word of God.

Back Home--Greater Lawndale sans Marcos

2005-07-18T17:46:00.000-05:00

Nekos!! AKA "Lil' Pito"!!!

2005-07-15T17:10:00.000-05:00

Me with a friendly Ecuadorian monkey buddy

2005-07-15T17:03:00.000-05:00

We Try to be Fearless Leaders!

2005-07-15T09:09:00.000-05:00

Free B for young men

2005-07-15T09:02:00.000-05:00

Okay guys, I'm having a light, carefree morning! Nothing too deep...just a little counsel for single men looking for that "good thing" (You know the proverb, he who finds a wife finds a ____ ____) If you want to win a woman's heart, LEARN TO FIX SOMETHING (Yes! Make a mad dash to a Home Depot workshop). Man, that's awesome and it melts any woman's heart if you volunteer your strength with kindness and a smile.

Aunt Sheila, Granny Childress, and me

2005-07-13T17:26:00.000-05:00

2005-07-12T01:19:00.000-05:00

Cameron in Quito challenged our team to fight to keep Quito from morphing into just “a cool trip”. We were challenged to bear fruit. We discussed this in debrief, during our trip home on the plane, and during these last days since returning. Please pray earnestly with us as we all seek direction. Here’s some of the fruit thus far—it needs your support in prayer and action steps (where possible).

1. Luis Enrique and Sarai Aldana—flying to Mexico this morning with their mother and two younger siblings. They both are going very intentionally to share Christ with feuding family members. Luis has sobered up a lot in the last few days, expressing clearly his desire to impact his family in Mexico with Christ. Please pray for Sarai that she would not be timid. Some of Sarai’s fruit is to serve in the tech team at church—she is learning to do Powerpoint for picture presentations. Sarai wants to become a vocational minister. Please pray that she continues to get exposures to opportunity.

2. Nekos Daniels—Nekos and I developed a life map yesterday after worship service. He has plans to finish high school, two year college (with the desire to transfer to a four year), work, career, developing computer skills, and going through the bible (this stuff is spanned out over years; some of it is immediate, and some stuff he hopes to have within 5-7 years—like a wife. You may giggle at his goal of having a wife, but THIS IS A MAJOR PRAISE, AS SO MANY YOUNG AFRICAN AMERICAN MEN AREN’T MARRYING—JUST MAKING BABIES. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GOAL—TO FIND A WIFE. AS THE SCRIPTURES SAY, “HE WHO FINDS A WIFE FINDS A GOOD THING.” Today, Nekos arrived at my house at 8:20 am (another praise as he is acquiring the discipline of early rising—he says waking up in Ecuador with excitement has helped him want to develop the discipline of early rising here in the States). We came to work together and he started making phone calls. Pastor Phil [Jackson] gave him a contact name for the Christian alternative high school here in the neighborhood. I listened as he laughed and comfortably talked with the woman over the phone. He received an appointment to go and take the entrance exam on JULY 19^th. (please, please, please pray as he needs to get above an 8.0 on the tests to be admitted). We also went to make an eye exam appointment so that he can get glasses/contacts. He picked the 8:40am appointment slot for Thursday (J). He is also going on a job interview tomorrow. Ecuador helped him to see that he has access to education here in the States in a way that many young men around the world do not have. He said that he wants to return to high school (he dropped out about a year or two ago) and get a career so that he can impact the quality of life for others.

3. Karla, “Flaca”, Hernandez—Flaca feels overwhelmed by family life, but is serious about growing. She, like Sarai, has had a career “change of hear”. She’s wanted to be a police officer for years, but now wants to be a missionary. She needs exposure and opportunity to serve God and to meet other vocational ministers.

4. Me—Developing a schedule to meet with a core group of young adults who seem serious about growing. I am reconnecting with a young lady who has returned after being away for 2 years. Please pray for Judy (we went to Costa Rica together). I am praying for focus—what is the THING that I’m called to do? Now, my often 12 hour work days seem to compete with my desire to build disciples and to develop young leaders. My very demanding work also makes it hard for me to focus on finishing up school.

5. Marcos—still away. Please pray for a smooth transition for him after returning from a month away. He also has lots of demands on his life from Moody and local responsibilities.

Thanks for your support and love. Talk to you soon.

Feeling green today

2005-07-11T10:30:00.000-05:00

A missionary who served in South America for years explained the ramifications of working and/or serving the Lord in another country like this: You leave a blue country and travel to a yellow country where you observe, learn, live. You become green--neither blue nor yellow.

During my last day in Quito, I had decided that I would have my own personal debrief time along the lake. Kids were dropped off with mommies and I booked it down to North Ave where I took a jog along the lake. I then went to the Starbucks on Wells. I think that's where my worlds began to clash. Marcos had observed how dull and brittle the hair of our friends in Quito was (Mr. Compassion was always observing the effects of hard living). The stark contrast to the shiny blond, Salon Selective hair in Starbucks. Perfectly manicured hands and feet the contrast of dusty brown feet, often infected with fungus. After a half hour I said to myself, "What the ---- are you doing in here?" Yes, I cussed in my head. I was angry at the beautiful people in Starbucks and I was angry at myself for wanting to be like them.

This morning, I am overwhelmed. I feel pulled in so many directions--last night, phone calls from teens here began to roll in. I feel the pressure of keeping a clean home, watering my tomato plants, calling my momma, responsibilities at church, trying to connect with and understand roommates, etc., etc., etc. How does my heart stay soft and broken for the WORLD????? The nations of the earth is the big picture--there's so much more to this life and so much more than just Chicago. The whole earth is GROANING. The nations are still waiting to be reached by the Glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I'm struggling hard. Please pray for grace and focus for me. More later...